Daydreams of Hobbit Kings
by Aria Breuer
Summary: Pre-WotR (War of the Ring). While inside the Green Dragon Inn, Frodo Baggins, Sam Gamgee, Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took each experience a daydream, in which they are kings of the Shire. Inspired by Pip the Dark Lord of All's stories. Book-verse. No slash.


**Disclaimers:** All canon material from _The Lord of the Rings_ trilogy belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien. I only own the plot and any OCs that may enter this fanfic. Inspiration and elements of the four hobbit's dreams came from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody episode "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad Hotel" from Season 1.

 **Acknowledgements:** Pip the Dark Lord of All may not know this until she read this, but this story was inspired by her weird, random ideas. Honestly, this story actually spurred by a story inspired by Pip the Dark Lord of All, so this is really her fault… I'm just kidding. Yes, this story has some similarities to Pip the Dark Lord of All's story, but instead of Pippin as a lord he's a king in this story. Thought you readers should know the differences.

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One day, not long ago, the Shire was filled with bliss and peace. The hobbits Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck – who preferred the name Merry, and Peregrin Took – more commonly called Pippin – entered the Green Dragon Inn at the village of Bywater. They wanted to stop at the inn to get a drink and maybe some food.

As the four friends sat down, a thought occurred in Pippin's mind. It was a brilliant idea he just concocted!

"Say fellas, what would happen if we were kings of Middle-earth?" asked Pippin. He wasn't expecting the burst of laughter that came from Merry, Sam and Frodo. Pippin was being entirely serious. "Well, I mean, think about it. Imagine if I were a king. Just imagine…" Then ripples formed as his dream came to light in his own mind…

 _Pippin had a spectacle of people cheering him on. His coronation had ended and now he was the full entitled ruler of Middle-earth, where he could have mushrooms all he wanted and servants at his knees. He knew his first order of business:_

" _Merry will be my personal visor, Frodo my ruling lord, and Sam the cook. This is my proclamation. Now, everyone have fun!" announced Pippin as a celebration was held throughout the Shire kingdom._

 _The celebration lasted for many, many, many, many, many deserving days with lots of food, dancing, and merry cheer. Good thing Lotho was now his man servant, who begged towards his every command. Lotho rushed up to him one day, during Pippin's royal duties, a blank stare on his face._

" _Yes my king!" said Lotho. Oh how Pippin loved this!_

" _Lotho, will you take the baggage for Mrs. Proudfoot to the second floor corridor on the Grand Staircase?" asked Pippin._

" _Oh yes sir. At once my king," said Lotho, grabbing heavy baggage._

 _Pippin smiled as he added, "And, take the stairs."_

 _Lotho, although he wanted to lunge at Pippin, put a smile on his face, "Oh, anytime mi liege," and with that, he walked in quick strides across the courtyard._

 _Diamond Took, from Long Cleeve, approached Pippin and said in delight, "Peregrin Took, it's almost five. You know what that means…"_

" _Of course!" said Pippin, grabbing a microphone from Merry. "Attention everyone! It's time for the Shire rumba!"_

 _Just like that, Pippin and Diamond were the first ones out on the middle of the courtyard. They did various dances that looked like Shire dances and some from Gondor. It was quite the festive…_

" _Pippin!"_

" _Merry?" asked Pippin, staring up at the air, a little aware of Diamond's stony gaze…_

As the dream rippled out and reality returned, Pippin found he was dancing in his seat. Frodo did his best to stifle in a chuckle, but couldn't help himself. Sam and Merry were looking at Pippin as if he had fallen into a serious daydream.

"Pippin, what are you doing?" asked Merry, confused.

"Dancing! Oh, it's so much fun!" said Pippin, still in his daydream.

Frodo looked at Merry, but eventually the three snapped out of it when Sam grabbed Pippin's sleeve. Pippin was now fully back in reality and embarrassed with himself.

Pippin recovered, even though he was a bit shaken, "But imagine if we were kings together. I would make you, Merry, a visor, and…"

Merry shook his head. Frodo inquired, "Sounds more like you want to be king, Pippin, instead of us."

Pippin said, "Well, if I were king, I would make you all have high standards. I know Sam would want to work in the kitchens, fixing us all a meal every single day." He sighed, still daydreaming, but now grounded to reality. "It would be bliss."

"To you, Mr. Peregrin," said Sam.

Merry started daydreaming, as he said, "That's not what I would do if I were a king…" His mind rippled into the daydream, from which became lost in…

 _Merry's coronation took place and afterwards he gave his commencement speech. He would tell everyone exactly what he was planning and how it should be done:_

" _Thank you all for allowing me to be king and all the free gift baskets." Merry watched as a few shopping channel women showed off his gift baskets. "They're sleek, they're luxurious, they're completely what I wanted. So thank you for that. I would like to, at this time, make Frodo and Pippin lords, while Sam is my loyal man servant who will attend to my every need."_

 _A slideshow of images involved Merry sitting on his throne, with Sam washing and cleaning his dirty hairy feet. Merry shooed at the images with his hands in laughter._

" _All right, stop it! But you get the idea. Sam will be my loyal dog, my loyal companion. But we all can't forget my new love: Estella Bolger," said Merry, facing Estella._

 _Just then Fredegar "Fatty" Bolger looked over to find Merry and Estella snogging right in front of him. Fredegar stared at Merry in disgust. "Hey! What are you doing with my sister, Meriadoc?"_

 _Merry chided, with a happy smirk on his face, "Sorry Fatty, this is my dream!" He kissed Estella again…_

"Merry? Merry!" called Frodo, snapping Merry out of his dream.

Merry found he was kissing his cooked chicken thigh. Moving fast away from the chicken, Merry glanced up at his friends, alert and confused. "I didn't do anything."

"You were kissing the chicken," said Frodo.

"It was sitting right here," said Merry.

Frodo went wide-eyed, wondering why he had such silly friends. Sam was furious with Merry, after all the stuff he heard Merry say, even when the hobbit was daydreaming. Pippin looked amused.

"I'm your man servant! Merry, we're friends. Why should I be treated like your servant?" asked Sam. He shuffled his feet in embarrassment, remembering his status was below Merry's.

Frodo asked Sam, "Well, what's your daydream, Sam, if you were king of the Shire?"

"Well…" Ripples formed as Sam's daydream took place before his eyes…

 _Sam was king now and loving every moment of it. Everyone was polite to him and he never saw one stone unturned, nor one unhappy face. Frodo, his royal visor, approached him with a grand smile on his face. Good, no sign of Merry and Pippin, who were happily banished to some island with their grand wives Estella Bolger and Diamond Took._

 _Frodo informed Sam with candor, "Sam, thanks to your efforts, the kingdom is saved, everyone is at peace, and the gardens never looked more green and filled with well-deserving crops."_

" _Yes, and I couldn't have done this if it weren't for my supporting friendship with you. Ah!" Sam caught Rosie up in his arms and kissed her right in front of Frodo._

 _Tom Cotton, Rosie's brother, was appalled. Before he could stop Sam and Rosie, Sam held Rosie tighter, not wanting to let her go…_

"Sam, that was in the mashed potatoes," Merry said, snapping Sam out of his daydream.

Sam jerked up, but found mashed potatoes and gravy on his face. He asked for a towel, while Merry and Pippin laughed, but Frodo stifled a chuckle. Once Sam had a towel, he washed his face off, setting the towel down on the table a moment later.

Sam turned to Frodo and asked, "Well, what's your dream, Mr. Frodo?"

"Hmm…" Ripples formed across Frodo's vision as he encountered a daydream of his own…

 _Frodo nodded in slow motion as many passing citizens approached and left his throne room. He was so delighted to have everyone looking up to him. It felt so good to be king. Now he could tell Lotho what to do whenever he wanted._

" _Oh Lotho!" called Frodo. "Lotho, where are you? You lazy git."_

 _Lotho charged into the throne room, panting. "Sorry my king Frodo, there was a spill over in the great hall."_

" _Well, take care of it. Don't just stand there. Move, move, move!" ordered Frodo, gesturing with his arm._

 _Lotho bowed, "Yes my king. My great and wise king!" He kissed Frodo's hand several times._

 _Frodo jerked away. "That's enough. Now get moving."_

" _At once my king!" said Lotho, speeding out of Frodo's throne room._

 _Frodo shook his head. "Why did I ever make him my loyal man servant? I need to find a replacement man servant."_

 _At once, several servants stood in line. Frodo looked them over before claiming that Sam should be his new loyal man servant. Sam rushed out of the throne room to help Lotho with the Great Hall and to also inform Lotho that he was out of the job, twice._

" _Hmm… now what could I do next?" asked Frodo, thinking mischievously. It dawned on him. "Oh ladies!" He stood up and approached all the giggling girls. He was amazed they all parted. That's when he saw a shy girl who hardly giggled and looked at him awkwardly. Somehow he was drawn to this one. Then there was another shy girl, and another. Oh great, how could he choose? "Could you excuse me?" He parted ways with them, feeling a chill come up his spine. However, he was still thinking of the one shy girl. As he approached her again, he felt himself being pulled out of the daydream…_

"Frodo? Frodo!" called Merry, getting Frodo's attention.

Frodo had clearly gone too far into the daydream where it became serious. He glanced around, seeing his friends' troubled look. "I went too deep. I know I saw this one shy girl. Maybe it was a dream."

"You're starting to scare us, Frodo. You can't expect to find a girl in a daydream," said Pippin.

"Whatever," said Frodo, downing his tea.

"Well, we know we can't all be king, so which one of us would it be?" asked Sam. He soon regretted asking this question.

"I want to be king!" said Pippin, in an immature light.

"Yes, we all want to be king, but only one of us can be king of the Shire," said Merry.

"Maybe it's better to leave bygones with bygones," said Frodo. He was thinking too much about the mysterious girl in the daydream. She looked so familiar… then he saw Pearl and remembered the girl in the daydream looked exactly like her. He shivered, because he knew Pearl was not outright shy, but more of a girly girl and that's not what he was interested. His attention was snapped back by his cousin.

"Frodo, you still here?" asked Merry, concerned.

"Yes Merry, I am," said Frodo, happy to be with his friends. And that was all that mattered to him.

* * *

 **And that's the end. I know this story had a near self-insert, but I decided it was better to leave it all canon. I hope everyone enjoyed this story and if Pip the Dark Lord of All reads this, then I hope to hear her response. Okay, bye!**


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